This was posted on Nov 26, '04 12:36 PM, i just found this from my multiply account
Something to read about...just remember this was like four years ago...
almost every time i happen to sit at the lobby, my eyes automatically entangle with romantic scenes: couples doing HHWW (holdin' hands while walking), and those stuffs you see in commercials...i cant deny im smiling from within. a bit of that envious feeling pounds in my heart . And as saccharine scenes begin to sink in, i tell myself, "dont just sit there, have your own!". sounds easy though, but its not! sure enough-the delights of having someone beside you doing the HHWW stuff, whispering to her ears,a s she responds with a slight pinch on your side!
but at the back of my mind i am always visited by the basic reality of a relationship. can i give up my tsinovela habits? the pleasures of sleep just for her...?can i afford to look like F4 just to keep things from falling?in short am i going to be a different person? stuff like these matter to me...somehow 60% of my conviction look at it as unbearable, but entertaining.
many know how to start a relationship but do not know how to keep it...maybe its too ordinary to many or they might just be too slow to know. the matter is quite relative and subjective. the more you think of it, the more you misunderstand it. (its like just do it, man!!!!)
i had a friend who usually complains that love is unfair, and does not want to fall in love again. it is too painful and unfair. but just at the sight of his beloved, she could hardly say a word. she goes GAGA over him..there is no denying that loving is not a simple thing, its too painful and too deceiving to ignore yet we keep on loving! why?..
i am beginning to doubt whether love alone is the basis of a successful relationship, because if it is...how many relationships were torn apart? priorities disintegrated, dreams shattered and lives impaired?when in fact love is all that matters?
what about money, they say you cant buy love but without it, you can hardly have any relationship. Tsk...Damn, money!!!
can we blame love? can we accuse cupid of not doing his job well? we are appalled and get pissed when others intrude into our private life; most often when the heart is at stake only to laugh at the end-"they are correct".pity or simply infatuation, we really do not understand how love is maintained sustained and practiced...pushing ourselves to commit to a relationship irrepressibly and irresponsibly.
i am not a love doctor; i probably am in need of one. neither attend love, courtship nor marriage seminars. i am just someone who does not want to miss what this good life has to offer, not just of hasty decisions, i might regret later in my life...how if things wont fall into place? the ecstasy i dream turns into a nightmare-it is not my time yet.
i have nothing against those who enjoy and honor the magic spell of love's promises; actually i am fascinated with them..it is just that i have not finished patching up things for myself and yet quite disorganized and needs a lot of repair. i never want to jeopardize the banes of love and the essence of a relationship-or what relationship is all about! i am quite sure that love is not hard to find, but not served.
what puzzles me is where should i go from here?
to whom will i share special moments with?
spending the glories of my coming days,
waiting for my sunset.
i do not want to miss her-maybe not here,
not now.
and that was four years ago...remember...
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